RIP Zero,
You were one heck of a friend. Will always remember coming up with our own manga ideas, often talking about what magic/special ability systems that would be cool to build a world around. You’d always choose lightning or wind as your powers.
These recent years we’d talk about how badass the characters of Shonen were. They always get up no matter what, chase after whatever it was they were chasing after in life, and doing anything for their friends. The Shonen Spirit inspired us both, and we pushed each other to bring that fictional spirit into our lives.
So here’s you as a: Shonen protagonist, cracking your knuckles and discharging electricity.
Updates
Artists You Should Totally Check Out
Deleting the “Links” portion of my website for now. Polishing things up. But I still want people who visit here to go check out these talented and intelligent artists who are all doing great work. Support them and buy some art of theirs if they’re selling!
Artist Update
I’ve had my comic panels set to be consistent when I draw. But hadn’t adjusted my settings to make sure my cropping+posting are consistent. Fixed that today.
Artist Update
Happy New Years everyone.
Finding a job isn’t always easy, that’s for sure. And waiting to hear back from certain opportunities can feel like a disintegration filled eternity. Mhm mhm.
Artist Update
If you were wondering, they ordered a classic.
Artist Update
A tanuki magician plays in the cherry blossoms with its wind elementals.
Artist Update
Keeping the flow going with another illustration.
Artist Update
I wanted to try my hand at a Yonkoma. A short comic with 4 panels of equal size. Enjoy.
Artist Update
I still draw. Sometimes.
Artist Update
Admittedly, the month of July was a struggle. I’ve been trying to be more consistently aware with what is going on in the world around me while asking myself what I can realistically do to contribute. Right now there seems to be a lot going on, and it hasn’t been easy to process. It has been overwhelming to remain emotionally sturdy while remaining informed. Thus, I fell back on old habits.
Over the past month, I watched all of Community via Netflix, ate too much junk food, slept a ton, and mindlessly played video games. All while looking anxiously at social media feeds and news articles, wondering when I would get back up on my high horse and move.
I had a few breaths of fresh air throughout the month. I contributed to a few things financially I thought were important, bought some post cards to contact local officials, tried a few new things, did a lot of country-side driving, had some decent conversations with an old friend, took a long hike in the woods, and watched a decent amount of comedic youtube videos. All of which has helped me stay somewhat afloat.
Thanks to some soul searching and star gazing while feeling paralyzed on the ground, so to speak, I’m starting to feel motivated again. I feel ready, albeit nervous, to stand up again and get back to work. I felt strong in May and June, and I’d like to summon that strength for August. This time, with some extra courage and a side of gentleness.
I’d to get back into the daily habit of exercising, studying Japanese, working on my creative endeavors, all while keeping my health up. I’d like to push myself to stay in touch with my family and friends, while offering my help where I can. And, I want to continue brainstorming how I’d like to help my community, while researching and staying informed on topics related, and taking action wherever possible. There’s a lot to do, and no more time to be lying on the ground, paralyzed by fear or anxiety. Time to go.
Artist Update
When I sit down to make art, unfortunately, it often comes with a lot of anxiety, dread, and being too harsh on myself. Dealing with all of that usually leaves me paralyzed or escaping to avoid making art. The moments making art is fun or relaxing for me is seldom.
But I’ve been working through all of that. I keep trying to make art because it is important to me. It is a skill I’ve put a lot of time, money, and effort in. Others have supported me to keep at it. I want to keep at it. Understandably putting such an importance on something like that can arguably put stress on oneself. But I’m glad I’ve kept at it.
I’ve learned not to compare my art with others unless it’s beneficial for my art and/or psyche. I’ve learned to create a small ritual to get myself in an art-making zone out of habit. I’ve learned to let those more negative thoughts and feelings happen, but not focus on them. I try to focus on the art-making process and mentally pat myself on the back for still making any progress while dealing with those inner demons.
Last Thursday, I sat down to draw the above image. I had some fun ideas swirling in my head for this character I wanted to be an antagonist for a Dungeons and Dragons one-shot adventure I was planning for some friends. I sat down, I got to work, and I was finished. If I recall, a little over an hour flew by. That’s when I realized I didn’t have to deal with any anxiety during the entirety of the process of this drawing. It was fun, and it was surprisingly: incredibly peaceful.
I’m sure I will still have to deal with anxiety and maybe some of those other inner demons when sitting down to make art. Especially because I believe it is important to keep pushing oneself. Which often leads to discomfort, then hopefully improvement.
But for now, it’s nice to feel a wholesome shred of self-confidence for my own art making-process and have appreciation for whatever comes from it. To allow myself and my art to exist.
That said, this past month, my eyes have been widened to the fact that the black lives in this country (U.S.A.), have been, over centuries, treated as if they shouldn’t exist. More importantly, they are still being treated that way.
I’ve only been able to deal with my inner demons and the voices in my brain that tell me my art and I don’t matter because I have lucked out and have grown up in generally positive and supportive environments. I don’t have to deal with questions like “Where are you really from?”, “Do you have the Corona?”(https://www.npr.org/2020/06/17/877498373/coronavirus-racism-and-kindness-how-nyc-middle-schoolers-built-a-winning-podcast), “Could it just be…the colored population do not wash their hands as well?” (https://www.daytondailynews.com/news/local/lawmaker-asks-colored-population-not-washing-their-hands-well-others-behind-covid-rates/mnI4I0D4DHS5uscmbpqcQL/)
These questions, in my eyes, imply both a lack of empathy and racism, and are a tiny example of how this country seems to be unintentionally and intentionally saying: “If you are not white and not from this country, you might be a threat.” Which is a message that I don’t say lightly. But the more I listen and learn, the louder and clearer this message becomes.
Please listen, learn, and act so that we can become a country that unintentionally and intentionally says: “You are allowed to exist.” But to get there, I firmly believe we must first say: “Black Lives Matter.”
A Link to Listen:
https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/
A Link to Learn:
https://lithub.com/you-can-order-today-from-these-black-owned-independent-bookstores/
A Link to Act:
https://americansofconscience.com/
Artist Update
Well, after a week since I posted last, my boss texted me and said “Vacation is over. Back to work.” I stated I missed work, but oops, I miss the free time now! Such a weird situation. Nonetheless, I do feel lucky I can go in, and we have a solid team following the procedures set by our governor. That said, I have had to scale back on my artistic ambitions with work back on my plate.
One of the most difficult things for me to do is to keep solid energy after finishing a day of work. With a long commute, and currently a lot of work on our schedule, getting anything accomplished afterwards isn’t easy. But over the past month, I’ve pushed myself to do a little extra each day. This past week I managed to exercise everyday after work. The first week back at work, I just came home and crashed each day. So, progress!
Earlier this year I got back into watching an anime I started a few years ago. A few friends pushed me to get back into it. It has been a huge inspiration and has triggered a lot of good habits for myself this year. It’s definitely somewhat ridiculous, and I’ll admit, it’s become an obsession, but My Hero Academia has helped me accomplish so much over the past few months.
For those unfamiliar, it’s essentially a superhero anime. It follows a high school aged kid who doesn’t have any powers in a world where everybody does. Yet he still wants to be a hero. Eventually the number one superhero passes on his power to this kid to let him have a chance to enter a superhero high school. Again, ridiculous, plenty of the usual superhero+anime tropes+cliches. But like most Shonen+Superhero entertainment, it inspires you to move mountains.
Specifically, the school the kid goes to has a dorky motto. “Go Beyond: Plus Ultra!” I love it. It’s similar to the “Give 110%” motto I remember hearing growing up. But without a specific number. So keep pushing. The power the kid obtains is something he can’t handle at first. He can either use all or nothing of it. Which, at the beginning of the show, he ends up breaking his arms or legs if he tries to use it. So he learns to use 8% of the power. He essentially learns to do what he can without breaking.
That spoke volumes to me. I’ve been told I can be an all or nothing individual. I often times have periods where I am incredibly ambitious and productive. But I often experience burnout, and over the years, it usually takes a long time for me to get back onto my feet. So watching this fictional high school superhero student try not to break himself, but do what he can, then push himself to do more… was incredibly inspiring for me.
So I started drawing the characters from the show over the past months just to get me to draw. I started to just draw them at work during breaks. With pen, and while looking at an image. After the first two, I decided to draw my own poses. Then I started to pencil+ink them. (Below are the characters I’ve drawn thus far!) Then I started to get into the DnD characters for my friends from the previous post.
Two weeks ago I drew myself if I was a character in the world of My Hero Academia. So that’s the above image. I figured my power would be “Ambition.” The more ambitious I am, and the more I accomplish, the more energy courses through my body. I can use that for speed and super strength. Something like that. It’s been a fun image to keep in my head as I keep striving to do a little more each day.
This week I’m hoping to exercise, work on Japanese, and work on some art each day after work. Instead of giving 100% at work, as I feel like I have been, I intend to tweak it to somewhere between 50-80% so I don’t completely drain myself, and so I have some energy left after work to do those things mentioned. Then the following week: Go Beyond, Plus Ultra!
Artist Update
Yesterday, I went on a hike with my dad and brother. It was nice to get out of the house. Soak up some sunshine. That’s dad’s silhouette in the illustration. As anyone knows, it’s a weird and terrifying time. Being stuck at home I’ve spent some of my time playing Animal Crossing, cleaning, studying Japanese, and working on art. It’s been nice, but oui, I miss going to work. Or for that matter, anywhere public. Hopefully, things get better soon. Realistically though, I think it might be a while…
Today, the weather is a bit dreary where I am. I’ll be connecting with some friends to play Dungeons and Dragons online using the Roll20 website. It’s been a fun way to get a dose of social activity. I’ve been doing a few illustrations of my friends’ characters, which I’ll add to the bottom of this post. Animal Crossing has been a surprisingly fun method for social activity as well. Traveling to my friends’ islands and seeing how they’ve crafted their digital zen garden has been a joy.
Moving forward I intend to keep doing what I’m doing. It’s my hope to take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JPLT) and pass the N2, (second highest level.) But I have a lot of work to do, as I struggle with the language, especially grammar at the moment. I also intend to increase art production, as I would like to create sellable art pieces and/or start a Patreon and/or an Etsy shop. I’ve made a lot of progress working through anxiety that seems to come when I try to make art. Breathing more, listening to music, and thinking less has been what’s working. Here are some results:
Site/Art Update
Details:
Polished CV, edited About, added Illustrations under Art tab.
Art Update
Details:
-Under "Art" the project: Digital Eden has been added
-Pictures have been added to "A Light Touch"
Art Update
Details:
-Under "Art" the project: Pupil Proxy has been added.
Site Update
Details:
-Added Artists to Check Out (under Links) (Seriously, check them out! Great stuff and great people.)
-Edited "News" to become a folder containing "Press/Updates"
-Created Update Blog (if you're reading this where it should be, that means it is working...)
-Added my Social Media links under "Contact" so you can follow or contact me on Tumblr, Facebook, and/or DeviantArt.)